It’s that time of year again! The holidays give many families a chance to gather in one place, creating an opportunity to have conversations about the future. Even a small step now – sharing your thoughts on aging, care, or estate plans – could help prevent confusion, conflict, or stress down the road for your family.
Many people find these conversations challenging – and they can be. Yet the greatest gift you can give isn’t always measured in dollars; it’s the clarity and peace of mind that come from a well-communicated plan.
For the Senior Generation
If you’re the one who built or stewarded the family’s wealth, you may be thinking about two things: maintaining your own comfort and easing responsibilities for your children. Clear communication supports both.
Long-Term Care and Living Wills
Talking about long-term care can be as simple as expressing a wish: “I want to make sure my healthcare preferences are clear if I can’t speak for myself.” From there, you can share whether you’d prefer to age at home or elsewhere and confirm that your power-of-attorney and health directive documents are current. This isn’t about giving instructions – it’s about making sure your family isn’t left guessing.
Estate Plans and Legacy
A smooth, organized transition is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give. You don’t need to get into numbers. Just let your family know the essentials: where the documents are kept, who your attorney, tax professional, and wealth manager are, and the general structure of the plan. If distributions aren’t equal, offering brief context now can spare tension later.
Family Values and Philanthropy
Bringing your family into your charitable giving can be a gentle way to discuss legacy. Asking which causes matter to them turns the conversation toward shared purpose rather than inheritance.
For Adult Children and Caregivers
Adult children often want to support their parents while managing their own responsibilities. Approaching these topics with curiosity and respect sets the right tone.
Asking About Preparedness
You’d feel better knowing where your parents’ key documents are and who to contact if something happens. Ask them to share – It’s practical, not overly nosy. Understand what key professionals are involved: the attorney, wealth manager, accountant, and anyone else supporting the family. Identifying these individuals is not only part of maintaining an “orderly estate,” but it also helps reduce the risk of miscommunication…and may prevent individuals from becoming victims of financial fraud and hacking.
Understanding the Care Plan
If your parents have said they want to age in place, it helps to ask what that means in practice and how they imagine the family coordinating support. This keeps everyone aligned and avoids accidental misunderstandings.
Aligning on Educational Support
Holidays can also be a good time to talk about help for the grandchildren’s education. Asking whether they’d prefer to contribute to 529 plans—or use another approach—keeps things coordinated and tax-efficient.
Conversation Starters
“At some point next year, I’d like you to sit down with our wealth manager and attorney to understand what to expect when I’m gone. Can we get something on the calendar?”
“We’re not getting any younger, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page about elder care. We’d like you to be the point person for our care when we’re older. Is that something you’d be open to?”
“I’m not sure how to think about planning for the children’s education. Is that something you’d be willing to contribute to during your lifetime instead of leaving it up to the will?”
“If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, where is everything saved? Do you have a doomsday file on your computer?”
Not every topic will be resolved over a holiday dinner—and that’s okay. The goal is simply to begin. By opening the door to these conversations, your family can create a shared commitment to clarity, stability, and long-term well-being.
Weekly Commentary
The Greatest Holiday Gift is a Well-Communicated Plan
Mallon FitzPatrick
It’s that time of year again! The holidays give many families a chance to gather in one place, creating an opportunity to have conversations about the future. Even a small step now – sharing your thoughts on aging, care, or estate plans – could help prevent confusion, conflict, or stress down the road for your family.
Many people find these conversations challenging – and they can be. Yet the greatest gift you can give isn’t always measured in dollars; it’s the clarity and peace of mind that come from a well-communicated plan.
For the Senior Generation
If you’re the one who built or stewarded the family’s wealth, you may be thinking about two things: maintaining your own comfort and easing responsibilities for your children. Clear communication supports both.
Long-Term Care and Living Wills
Talking about long-term care can be as simple as expressing a wish: “I want to make sure my healthcare preferences are clear if I can’t speak for myself.” From there, you can share whether you’d prefer to age at home or elsewhere and confirm that your power-of-attorney and health directive documents are current. This isn’t about giving instructions – it’s about making sure your family isn’t left guessing.
Estate Plans and Legacy
A smooth, organized transition is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give. You don’t need to get into numbers. Just let your family know the essentials: where the documents are kept, who your attorney, tax professional, and wealth manager are, and the general structure of the plan. If distributions aren’t equal, offering brief context now can spare tension later.
Family Values and Philanthropy
Bringing your family into your charitable giving can be a gentle way to discuss legacy. Asking which causes matter to them turns the conversation toward shared purpose rather than inheritance.
For Adult Children and Caregivers
Adult children often want to support their parents while managing their own responsibilities. Approaching these topics with curiosity and respect sets the right tone.
Asking About Preparedness
You’d feel better knowing where your parents’ key documents are and who to contact if something happens. Ask them to share – It’s practical, not overly nosy. Understand what key professionals are involved: the attorney, wealth manager, accountant, and anyone else supporting the family. Identifying these individuals is not only part of maintaining an “orderly estate,” but it also helps reduce the risk of miscommunication…and may prevent individuals from becoming victims of financial fraud and hacking.
Understanding the Care Plan
If your parents have said they want to age in place, it helps to ask what that means in practice and how they imagine the family coordinating support. This keeps everyone aligned and avoids accidental misunderstandings.
Aligning on Educational Support
Holidays can also be a good time to talk about help for the grandchildren’s education. Asking whether they’d prefer to contribute to 529 plans—or use another approach—keeps things coordinated and tax-efficient.
Conversation Starters
“At some point next year, I’d like you to sit down with our wealth manager and attorney to understand what to expect when I’m gone. Can we get something on the calendar?”
“We’re not getting any younger, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page about elder care. We’d like you to be the point person for our care when we’re older. Is that something you’d be open to?”
“I’m not sure how to think about planning for the children’s education. Is that something you’d be willing to contribute to during your lifetime instead of leaving it up to the will?”
“If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, where is everything saved? Do you have a doomsday file on your computer?”
Not every topic will be resolved over a holiday dinner—and that’s okay. The goal is simply to begin. By opening the door to these conversations, your family can create a shared commitment to clarity, stability, and long-term well-being.
Disclosure and Source
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