By Frank Corrado, CPA, CFP®, RLP
April 27, 2022 – Within each of us are specific traits and abilities that we either take for granted, underestimate, or misuse when building financial strength. Once understood, these “Hidden Superpowers” can carry us through challenging financial situations. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.
We would like you to reflect on the following five Hidden Superpowers. We hope that they will help you realize that you are stronger than you think. Next week we will present five more Superpowers, providing enough inner strength to audition as a Marvel Super Hero.
1. Imperfection
Invulnerability is a classic superpower, but in real life, pretending to have it tends to backfire. Instead, those who make mistakes, and let others know it, are better liked and often more successful. Marina Harris, Ph.D.
Many people assume they need to put their best self forward, never make mistakes or blunders, and always know the right thing to say. This pressure can lead to stress and cause people to second-guess their presentation, actions, and words.
In my essay, “The Perfect 10, Or Not!”, I take the position that no matter how much you feel that striving for perfection will help you succeed, it is not a helpful trait and, often not a healthy one either! I have noticed certain tendencies exhibited by clients who strive for “perfect finances,” including struggling to make decisions or take action, worrying excessively about sunk costs, avoiding challenges to avoid failure, and applying personal high standards to others.
Life can be a difficult journey, but one that can be so rewarding. Try not to always set your sights on the “perfect 10,” the gold medal, the highest grades, the best portfolio, the perfect credit score, or living like a “Stepford partner!” It’s impossible to achieve, so why set yourself up for failure? Leave yourself some room for error. Mistakes are a way of life and nature’s best teacher. Change is the only constant we face. Set reasonable expectations and do the best you can.
2. Generativity
We often imagine that putting others before ourselves is a sign of weakness. Still, research suggests it’s a stealth superpower: The most “generative” people have better long-term well-being than others. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D.
It’s often thought that feeling good about yourself derives from being able to look back with pride on your accomplishments, no matter how modest or grand. This focus on individual happiness is an integral part of an optimal life.
However, some seek gratification in operating in the world beyond themselves. Their legacy is to pass along the best part of their lives to others so they may endure beyond their earthly years. This type of well-being is known as “Generativity.” It is based on the belief that it’s essential to care for others, specifically the next generation. People high in this trait can put themselves second and realize there is a greater good beyond themselves. For many, it is the essence of fulfillment.
3. Routine
Sticking to a daily routine can be viewed as rigid and unimaginative. On the contrary, research suggests that routine frees us from overthinking, improves mental health, and can, in fact, foster creativity. Steve Alexander, Jr., M.A., Ed.M., ARM, LMHC
Many people ignore the real successes in their lives and put themselves down for being, as they perceive it, unproductive, unmotivated, and unaccomplished. And while motivation can be a powerful driver, sometimes it’s just not there or can last for only a brief time.
It is more beneficial to have daily routines to help us achieve our goals. Imagine a heart surgeon who told you, “I can operate well—when I feel motivated.” You would not risk your health hoping that this doctor felt motivated on the day of your procedure. Better to have your surgery done by someone who has routines that ensure her success regardless of how she feels.
Routines are not sexy and, in some cases, are boring. Saving money in your 401k happens twice a month like clockwork. Reviewing your investments to ensure they are diversified is not an exercise that brings excitement. Making a budget and sticking to it can be a grind.
These routines are the basics of Personal Finance 101, and you should be proud of your efforts because, sometimes, slow and steady wins the race.
4. Persuasion
We assume we don’t have much influence over others, even those closest to us, but studies show we’re more powerful than we think. Vanessa Bohns, Ph.D.
When you want to convince another person to do something, the first factor you probably consider is how likely they are to agree. Such thinking can discourage you from influencing them, which would be a mistake because your sphere of influence may be larger than you imagine. You’re probably more persuasive than you believe, no matter who you’re trying to convince.
Your persuasion superpower is highly effective at home. Research indicates that money is one of the largest sources of contention in the household. Why fight when you can persuade? Help your spouse understand your point of view, rather than just dismissing theirs. Don’t go for the win, but rather the win/win. Compromising is not settling; it is making progress rather than continuing backward.
The same holds for the money relationship you have with your children. You might think the power dynamics are different because you are a parent. Yes, you can force an issue, but the negative repercussions of bad childhood money memories can last a lifetime, even multiple generations. The fantastic thing is that the opposite is also true. Good habits and sound money values learned as a child will be the foundation of financial success in later years.
5. Satisfaction
The ability to be happy with who you are, where you are, and what you have is a power that those who are never satisfied may want to emulate. By Lawrence Samuel, Ph.D.
Kurt Vonnegut tells the story of how he and Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer, were at a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island. Kurt asked, “Joe, how does it make you feel to know that our host only yesterday may have made more money than your novel Catch 22 has earned in its entire history?”
Joe replied, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
“What on earth could that be?” asked Kurt.
Joe replied, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
For a critical segment of our society, including many of the wealthiest and most influential people, there seems to be no limit on what “enough” means. It’s sad because, while they may be rich, they will never be wealthy.
I describe life as a continuum of experiences and the memories/feelings that define it. It is comprised of past experiences, those in the present, and the outcomes that you can control for the future. It seems that basic math principles would suggest that the more experiences you have, the more memories you would create along with a flood of emotions, good and bad, that frame your understanding of your life.
Seize your power of “Restlessness” and find a way to reinvent yourself and your relationship with others. Sometimes Starting Over is the best strategy to follow.
Next week, we will reveal four more Hidden Superpowers that you will provide additional inner strength to face the world!